All quiet on the Western Front...

It's a new year...and everything has been very quiet here for the last few months. Life has been ticking along, work has been ticking along and our dreams have kind of been a bit lost in the day to day living. I seem to have spent most of my time flitting about taking the kids to Stunt School, Gymnastics, Drama group, friend's houses and riding. Christmas was a long time coming and seemed to disappear far too quickly and here we are...2015.

I'm not going to make a long list of New Years Resolutions because I never manage to keep them, but I guess the New Year always gives you a kick up the backside to get you going again. I read an interesting article the other day about procrastination ( http://amycarpenterleugs.tumblr.com/post/106518941109/procrastination ) It starts with:

'PROCRASTINATION
(says David Whyte) is not what it seems… What looks from the outside like our delay; our lack of commitment; even our laziness may have more to do with a slow, necessary ripening through time and a central struggle with the core realities of any endeavor to which we have set our minds. To hate our procrastinating tendencies is in someway to hate our relationship with time itself, to be unequal to the phenomenology of revelation and the way it works its own quiet way in its very own gifted time, only emerging when the very qualities it represents have a firm correspondence in our necessarily struggling heart and imagination... '

We have been procrastinating, in the fact that we haven't re-written a woodland proposal as yet, we haven't pursued our dreams as exhaustively as perhaps we could have BUT maybe that's a good thing, maybe it's what we've needed to get our heads around the whole enormity of the process and maybe it's what I've personally needed to see past this and let what happens, happen. We haven't been completely idle though...Dave has been on a woodland management course, making plans, coming up with ideas, and I'm in the process of resurrecting a proof-reading business which could earn us some income - as long as there's internet! 

So, we are in a new year... our next steps are for Dave to complete his Course assignment and from that to write a more comprehensive woodland management plan, and then leave it in the hands of all the people involved in the process.

 

Plans, Proposals and People...

We've been back from Rum for a couple of weeks and have had a lot going on catching up, working and sorting out new ideas. We had a great week and it was incredibly hot (!) which, of course, we hadn't bargained for. The meetings with people went well, and although no firm decisions were made, we're feeling a bit more optimistic. So, we're back home, trying to get our heads around writing a proposal for renting a small piece of woodland and waiting to see if there are any developments on sub-letting a croft ...still kind of in limbo but at least we're limbo'ing (is that a word??)  towards a goal now.

It's funny how things work out though, I feel much more at peace about this now, the kids are even talking about 'when' we move rather that fluctuating from 'if' to a definite 'I don't want to'. Little things are falling into place; some a bit daft like learning how to use the multitude of rushes on the croft for making craft items, to having a light-bulb moment about resurrecting an online business which can be done from anywhere; something which for some unknown reason had gone completely out of my head until now!!

It's also interesting how other people react; some think we are just dreaming and that it will never happen, some come up with every possible obstacle they can think of to throw at us, and some are just so set in their ways that can't see past their own lives (that was being polite!!) Yet, there are our good friends, who maybe think we are a bit mad, but tell us to go for the dream because one may not come around again, they listen with interest, promise that they'd visit and have really understood what this is all about. It's interesting to see which category people fall in and it's also made us realise (again) that we are not normal !! We don't send our kids to school, we don't hold down nine to five jobs, we don't wear designer gear, we don't have to spend thousands of pounds a month to 'survive', and generally question things which the majority of people down even seem to have on their radar!! Maybe that's why this doesn't seem as daunting to us as it obviously makes other feel...

And, if it all fails and we don't go anywhere...then we'll just pick ourselves up and see what is around the corner...         

It's a Rum thing....

We've only been back in 'normality' for a couple of weeks and we are off again!! Nothing happens for ages and then everything seems to happen at once..... We are heading back to the beautiful Isle of Rum for a week, I realised after reading back through this blog that actually we have never mentioned this little island on here, it completely got bypassed by the lack of writing blogs at the times we've been up and back again. I shall rectify this by bombarding you with lovely photos so you can all see how special it is!!

Looking out from the shore road

Kinloch Castle - a tad eccentric for a little island!

Washing up facilities on the campsite!

The path to the Kabins from the shore

This visit is not just a holiday but a week of meeting and talking to people we've already met and some new faces as well, hopefully getting some idea if a move there would be at all feasible....A lot of our friends and family have kind of known we've been trying to find a way and sometimes felt like banging our heads against a brick wall or just giving up but this is a last ditch attempt. I've made a deal with God (I know all you strict Christian types will be shaking your head and tutting right now) that I personally need to know this time if it's yes or no for definite, so He has the job of making it abundantly clear!! Either way it means we can move on instead of feeling like we are in limbo land.... we'll see...... 

Heavenly Haven ....

We've just got back from a week away 'daan saaf ' , near to where we used to live and where I grew up from when I was about nine. It was interesting, lovely in many ways and kind of made us realise how much it and we have changed over the years...  Firstly there's just so much noise!! If it's not planes going overhead all the time, it's the constant hum of motorways in the background with the inevitable sirens. This area is also one of the richest in the country with huge houses and flash cars... sadly the huge houses also have huge security gates and probably no-one in them for most of the week as the residents have to work, work, work to keep their 'lifestyle' going.. I know where I'd rather be!!   

Funnily enough it was here I spent ten years growing up....most of my friends know that my parents worked for a missionary society whose headquarters (where we lived) just happened to be in an amazing, beautiful mansion with 35 acres of gardens..... (I so didn't appreciate it fully when we were there!!) It's like an oasis of calm in all the noise and 'keeping up with the Jones's ' going on around them. We had a great weekend back there at GoFest2014, a Christian Festival enjoying meeting new people and learning and re-learning about our own faith, we've come away with loads to think about and look into for the future. On the purely selfish side, it was soooo good to be able to swing on the best swings in the world and eat our lunch on the best verandah in the world (ever so slightly bias!!) This place will always have a little piece of my heart xx  

 

 












The next couple of days were spent fulfilling birthday treat promises to the kids, one at Legoland and one at the Globe Theatre both of which were brilliant days out, we even managed to squeeze in a visit to my big brother, still in hospital in London .... a fantastic week all round x

 

Pulling up your big girl panties and dealing with it!!

There's been a lot going on recently, just simmering away in the background and it's kind of thrown me a bit recently.. .

..... as our last blog post said we are waiting for a possible upheaval (or not!) which doesn't seem to have moved on any since then....

.....and my big brother who has been in hospital since Jan 2013 had his critical operation a couple of weeks ago which we are still waiting to see the real outcome from...

I feel like we are in limbo .... all my oomph for crafting has gone out of the window as I can't seem to be able to think creatively at the moment.... or think of anything else actually....

BUT....The good news is that I've started running (OH MY GOODNESS!!) Yes, this self confessed couch potato who used to laugh at the health obsessed joggers out in all weathers has succumbed.....I know, it's madness...
Well... actually I have to say I'm secretly enjoying it, Eilidh says I flolop not run but at least I'm getting off that couch and doing something! There's something strangely calming about being able to 'flolop' around the countryside on my own, just my ipod and me (and a strange lady in my ear telling me how great I'm doing when I've turned an unhealthy shade of red and can't actually breathe anymore!!) I've found some lovely peaceful off-road routes as I don't think my hip or my self esteem can cope with tarmac and lots of people yet. I've been following the NHS couch to 5k plan which has worked for me so far, even though I did do the first couple of weeks for about a month as I was so unfit!   

So for now I'm pulling on my big girl panties (along with the black lycra running trousers...not a pretty sight) and trying to flolop on regardless negotiating any brick walls as I get to them!!  

We have a dream.....

We have a dream.... a dream which has been there for a long time now..... a dream which seems to be completely impossible at times...(The Big Dream) .... but it's still there. Over the last year or so we've had a vague possibility of this dream coming true, even just in part but every time we allow ourselves to visualise that dream in our heads the doors are pretty firmly shut in front of us. After all... we have no money, no savings, no house to sell or rent and two children growing older by the day...all pretty major issues which don't put us in the best possible place on face value!!  However we are practical people, and we could make this dream happen if only given the chance to do so.....

So... now, completely out of the blue, we've been given the very slightest glimmer of hope (maybe, possibly..) It would be a very big and very scary move completely out of my comfort zone but would also be a huge adventure.... but for now we are just waiting.... and although we have been kind of waiting for a long time, this time it feels incredibly frustrating!!

Whilst trying to organise my head yesterday (!), I was listening to a friend of a friend's podcasts on Untrapped Life  ..... really worth a listen if you have a dream, want something different for your life and maybe have all the doubts and fears that go along with that dream... One of them was talking about telling other people your dream, discussing it with friends, family etc if you feel you're hitting a roadblock. Now..I'm not the most talkative person, I tend to keep things to myself and find it so much easier to write than talk! This dream has always been kept a little bit quiet (at least from my side, Mr L is much more willing to tell everyone!!) maybe for fear of failure, of looking stupid, of people really not 'getting it' ..... my Home Ed friends are my greatest confidantes and have been our biggest encouragers and supporters..thank goodness for them x 

So... here I am telling you lot, if there's anyone reading this at all (!) If it happens we'll have lots of exciting adventures to write about on here, if not....... there maybe a few morose, feeling sorry for ourselves posts instead ;) ........      

Reflections on Windermere....

The kids have just completed a four week 'course' with Windermere Reflections a local programme set up to increase the understanding of environmental issues in the Lake Windermere catchment area. Just one day per week they've learned all about the problems with Himalayan Balsom, how phosphates effect the lake and wildlife and how the area has changed over the years with less trees and more sheep causing erosion.....amongst many other things. They've made newsreels on Ipads,completed river surveys, made outdoor art Andy Goldsworthy style, created felt pictures and designed a cartoon strip for a possible book.... It's been a really interesting four weeks.

Interestingly one of the games they played was all about how we look after the environment at home or in our own lives generally and as the only Home Ed group they had run this for, we were the highest scoring group ever! Apparently the school groups generally scored much lower..... different types of families maybe? just a coincidence? or maybe a feeling of disconnection from what goes on around them at home as they are away in school so much? who knows....but I had a proud parent moment anyway!!